This might seem to be abstract today, but I wrote this a year back, trying my way out of those gloomy days.
Every situation has her words, doesn’t matter whether you are happy, sad or lost. Your heart rhymes it to sing a song of life, voluntarily, anonymous to you, making every moment priceless. And when thousands of questions fill your mind keeping no room to find an answer, suddenly you could hear that melody, rhythmic, still meaningful, conveying the same which your heart was trying to convince for last few days.
While I talk about heart, never able to figure it out, what that really means. Science says, it does not have power to think. Then why do we say, listen to your heart. The entity without self being, but still you could understand her language, and not what your head says.
Afterall what are emotional and practical thoughts? may be two parts of the same brain, confusing you with two conflicting thoughts. When I choose a difficult path to come out of the situation, I suppose I listen to my heart, because what my head points is convenient way, (or practical?). Is being practical means being selfish and brutal? I would never find an answer to this.
To conclude these vague thoughts, here are the lines from Pink Floyd,
where were u, when I was burnt n broken
while the days slip by from my window watching
n where were u when I was hurt n helpless
b’cause the things u say n things u do surround m
while u were hanging urself on someone else’s words
n dying to believe in what u heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun
lost in thoughts n lost in time
while the seeds of life n seeds of change were planted
outside d rain felt dark n slow
while I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took d heavenly ride thr’ our silence
I knew d moment had arrived
for killing d past n coming back to life
I took d heavenly ride thr’ our silence
I knew d waiting had begun
heading straight into d shining sun
Monday, February 1, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
January 10, Sandy’s B’day
Last Sunday, it was Sandy’s B’day and I was at Chiplun. Fortunately Vishal reminded me of this auspicious day when SandyBaba took his Avtar on this holy planet. There is something special about this saintly creature; hardly had any subject been remained untouched with his authoritative commentary. And then after, if any dupe shows some guts to annotate it further with incongruity, our know-all friend just fumes. Despite being such an expert commentator he needs assistance in almost everything he does, right from paying his electricity bill to watching TV alone, he wants somebody around.
Really, last thirty months at Persistent had never been so enjoyable if he wouldn’t have been around. I met this terrific friend in very first fortnight, as a project team member. I was new joinee and was looking out for somebody to talk, to share my lunch table, and to help me to get acquainted with this new workplace. With Sandy Persistent remained no alien place anymore.
Like Sandy, many of my friends I met, over past few years stood by me when needed and made my life beautiful and to whom I never said THANK YOU but I would definitely like to say SORRY.
Thank you for being there when I was in mess, bringing cake on my birthday without fail and bringing wishes on every auspicious occasion like Dashera, Diwali, New Year, Makarsankranti, 26th Jan, 15 Aug and Labor day.
Sorry for forgetting your birthdays without forgetting. No matter how hard I try to remember my friend’s birthdays and how much closer he/she is, it’s almost certain that I am going to fail to wish him/her. It hits me only after I receive at least fifteen messages on friendship day that I have to wish all those special people in my life.
So thumbs up to my New Year resolution number one - better late than never, get ready for my belated birthday wishes. :)
Really, last thirty months at Persistent had never been so enjoyable if he wouldn’t have been around. I met this terrific friend in very first fortnight, as a project team member. I was new joinee and was looking out for somebody to talk, to share my lunch table, and to help me to get acquainted with this new workplace. With Sandy Persistent remained no alien place anymore.
Like Sandy, many of my friends I met, over past few years stood by me when needed and made my life beautiful and to whom I never said THANK YOU but I would definitely like to say SORRY.
Thank you for being there when I was in mess, bringing cake on my birthday without fail and bringing wishes on every auspicious occasion like Dashera, Diwali, New Year, Makarsankranti, 26th Jan, 15 Aug and Labor day.
Sorry for forgetting your birthdays without forgetting. No matter how hard I try to remember my friend’s birthdays and how much closer he/she is, it’s almost certain that I am going to fail to wish him/her. It hits me only after I receive at least fifteen messages on friendship day that I have to wish all those special people in my life.
So thumbs up to my New Year resolution number one - better late than never, get ready for my belated birthday wishes. :)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
International Terrorism
It took me almost six weeks to complete this esoterica (if such word exists) but I am still not very sure what I am trying to say.
The Fox History series ‘International Terrorism since 1949’ with its punch-line ‘Know terror to fight terror’ is really nice one. Although I always fear the history they put forward is somewhat US biased, but truth even though one sided is still truth, its upto us to look at the other side of the coin.
Take the example of Nasir and his support to PLO, in some movies on Fox History like Sadat, his portrait is quite dark but the episodes like ‘The Greats’ praises his leadership and vision for modern Egypt.
The point of confusion for me is the thin line between freedom fighter and a terrorist. How to differentiate both?
Today morning I was watching this episode about Fidel Castro, Che Guevara and Cuba.
Although what these guys did in Cuba is always inspirational to me and maybe many people in the world, the program seemed to be United States propaganda to sketch him as ‘terrorist who became president of a nation and survived for 60 odd years’. It is USA’s open and dark secret that the bulk of terrorism, today the world is fighting against, is the descendent of US policies and their intelligence agencies.
But for now, let me explore my confusion in more detail and with some crude examples. Prabhakaran and his Tamil Tigers, who were they? Terrorist who killed thousands or Freedom fighters who betted their lives for their Tamil nation? Terrorist in Kashmir, Khalistanis, Irish Republican Army, PLO and many similar? My patriotic mind easily categorizes Tamil Tigers, Kashmir separatist and Khalistanis as terrorist, but on the similar lines if somebody from England thinks that Bhagat Singh and Hindustan Socialist Republican Association as terrorist is he/she wrong?
I don’t know if I am being hypocrite or what but let me put it simple; fighting for our soil, nation and people is a right given by our destiny and the same applies to others. In the fight against unjust powers if we forget this for a single moment and deny this right to others, we may cross the boundary between freedom fighting and terrorism. Well, that’s where Bhagat Singh and Prabhakaran differed, even though both used violence as a mean to achieve liberty, one was never involved in bloodshed of innocent British men and the other never spared a single man, woman or a child who raised voice against him.
The Fox History series ‘International Terrorism since 1949’ with its punch-line ‘Know terror to fight terror’ is really nice one. Although I always fear the history they put forward is somewhat US biased, but truth even though one sided is still truth, its upto us to look at the other side of the coin.
Take the example of Nasir and his support to PLO, in some movies on Fox History like Sadat, his portrait is quite dark but the episodes like ‘The Greats’ praises his leadership and vision for modern Egypt.
The point of confusion for me is the thin line between freedom fighter and a terrorist. How to differentiate both?
Today morning I was watching this episode about Fidel Castro, Che Guevara and Cuba.
Although what these guys did in Cuba is always inspirational to me and maybe many people in the world, the program seemed to be United States propaganda to sketch him as ‘terrorist who became president of a nation and survived for 60 odd years’. It is USA’s open and dark secret that the bulk of terrorism, today the world is fighting against, is the descendent of US policies and their intelligence agencies.
But for now, let me explore my confusion in more detail and with some crude examples. Prabhakaran and his Tamil Tigers, who were they? Terrorist who killed thousands or Freedom fighters who betted their lives for their Tamil nation? Terrorist in Kashmir, Khalistanis, Irish Republican Army, PLO and many similar? My patriotic mind easily categorizes Tamil Tigers, Kashmir separatist and Khalistanis as terrorist, but on the similar lines if somebody from England thinks that Bhagat Singh and Hindustan Socialist Republican Association as terrorist is he/she wrong?
I don’t know if I am being hypocrite or what but let me put it simple; fighting for our soil, nation and people is a right given by our destiny and the same applies to others. In the fight against unjust powers if we forget this for a single moment and deny this right to others, we may cross the boundary between freedom fighting and terrorism. Well, that’s where Bhagat Singh and Prabhakaran differed, even though both used violence as a mean to achieve liberty, one was never involved in bloodshed of innocent British men and the other never spared a single man, woman or a child who raised voice against him.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Your honor
Last week, for the first time in my life I stood in the courtroom before CJ of family court. (I filed my petition for divorce there) Unlike my expectations and imagination about legal profession the environment over there was really sick. It will really give major attack of nervousness if anybody spends a week in atmosphere like that. I was fascinated by this profession since I was working with Spectrum (Once I even thought of studying law).
The three years at Spectrum were some of the great days in my life. My career was just kicking off then. My earlier job was in Oracle/D2K. I always dreamt my career in C++, so when the opportunity to work with Spectrum came I just grabbed it without a second thought. For the first few days I was just wondering why my boss was bombarding me every now and then with every small-big tasks when there were 20 other experienced programmers around. A week later I realized, I with a just passed-out were the only programmers there and the other guys were either data entry operators or Lawyers.
So I started with Spectrum as junior programmer. It was fairly easy for me, as my boss and his bosses really showed trust in me (It might be that they didn’t had much choice either) to climb up the ladder of promotions as the team gradually grew up. We used to work for days and nights dreaming that one day Jurix will become major share holder in legal information retrieval market. We used to have long and brainstorming discussion about search and retrieval algorithms, database design and so on. Most of us were fresher or less than one year experienced, so everybody was trying to put things together which he/she learnt during academics. We never had any formal training about any language/technology, but we were so full of enthusiasm and energy that we managed some Herculean tasks without knowing what we were upto. (My first COM server was sheer product of my understanding of pure virtual functions, the words like interface, inproc server etc were not even in my dictionary then) The side effect was that we were never contented with the end product as by the time we were close to deliver it, somebody or the other used to discover much better technique to do so.
One of my bosses used to call us bunch of masons, who never had any plan, schedule or even an idea about the deliverable. He used to blame us that we start putting bricks and cement if somebody asked us to build home, without even understanding how many rooms there should be. Today when I can see myself surrounded by so many smart architects, I wonder if anybody of them has ever built a single room out of his knowledge. Most of these smart architects do the maintenance of old houses or put extra storey to the building which probably was product of some enthusiastic masonry. :)
The three years at Spectrum were some of the great days in my life. My career was just kicking off then. My earlier job was in Oracle/D2K. I always dreamt my career in C++, so when the opportunity to work with Spectrum came I just grabbed it without a second thought. For the first few days I was just wondering why my boss was bombarding me every now and then with every small-big tasks when there were 20 other experienced programmers around. A week later I realized, I with a just passed-out were the only programmers there and the other guys were either data entry operators or Lawyers.
So I started with Spectrum as junior programmer. It was fairly easy for me, as my boss and his bosses really showed trust in me (It might be that they didn’t had much choice either) to climb up the ladder of promotions as the team gradually grew up. We used to work for days and nights dreaming that one day Jurix will become major share holder in legal information retrieval market. We used to have long and brainstorming discussion about search and retrieval algorithms, database design and so on. Most of us were fresher or less than one year experienced, so everybody was trying to put things together which he/she learnt during academics. We never had any formal training about any language/technology, but we were so full of enthusiasm and energy that we managed some Herculean tasks without knowing what we were upto. (My first COM server was sheer product of my understanding of pure virtual functions, the words like interface, inproc server etc were not even in my dictionary then) The side effect was that we were never contented with the end product as by the time we were close to deliver it, somebody or the other used to discover much better technique to do so.
One of my bosses used to call us bunch of masons, who never had any plan, schedule or even an idea about the deliverable. He used to blame us that we start putting bricks and cement if somebody asked us to build home, without even understanding how many rooms there should be. Today when I can see myself surrounded by so many smart architects, I wonder if anybody of them has ever built a single room out of his knowledge. Most of these smart architects do the maintenance of old houses or put extra storey to the building which probably was product of some enthusiastic masonry. :)
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